I wasn’t too sure about starting a blog. After all, once something’s on the internet, it never really disappears. But I’ve also been having a hard time lately. I want to be transabled, which means that I want to have a physical impairment even though most people would say I’m able-bodied. Some people call it Body Integrity Identity Disorder, though it’s not yet made it into the DSM (the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders).
There are different ways that BIID shows up: some people want to be blind or deaf or have an amputation. I want to amputate my right leg right below the knee. Of course, that’s not going to happen anytime soon. There aren’t many – if any – surgeons who are willing to perform these kinds of surgeries.
The pressure of having BIID has been increasing. I haven’t told my wife about it, but she can tell something is bothering me. I’ve had the desire to lose my leg since I was a kid; I thought it’d go away over time, but it hasn’t. I’m hoping that writing on the blog about my experiences with BIID will help me come to terms with it, or at least manage it better.
You can read more about me on my about page, including my hobbies and what I do for a living. You can also email me anytime. I’ve been finding that talking to other people online about my transableism has helped me cope with it a lot better.