This whole transableism thing has been really been bothering me at work. Usually I can kind of manage – at least keep it dampened – by going on BIID sites or pretending or keeping busy with family activities, but it hasn’t been working lately.
I’ve been taking a few days off here and there. Thankfully, I’ve got a few sick days built up; I know not everyone has that luxury.
The problem is trying to explain it to my family. I’ve told my wife that I just haven’t been feeling well lately – a cold or stomach flu or something. But I know she’s worried there’s something else going on. I want to tell her so badly, but I’m too scared of what her reaction will be.
I also can’t exactly tell anyone at work and there are only so many excuses I can come up with. But I can’t keep going this way. It gnaws at me continually and I’m so anxious about what I’m going to do or if I should tell someone or what.